To friends and family,

It has been Christmas Eve since I have sent out a distribution email. I decided to send one today in recognition & in honor of Diane’s birthday.
It is now a little over three months since Diane has died and I am still taken aback when I hear a new “story” about Diane. Or I hear of how her life has been so influential and yes, how her death has deeply moved even distant friends.
Dereje is a missionary in Kazakhstan who ministers with orphans such as Anya and Masha when they were in Kaz. Because of Kazakh law, he is not able to preach Jesus to the children, but he shows them Jesus in his loving ministry. Diane met him after I left Kaz when we adopted Anya. Through the years he and Diane became great friends and mutual admirers during two visits to our home, the email world and through countless late night phone calls. Just recently in two of his emails, I once again was hit hard with the message of Diane’s goodness by what he wrote about a few people who met Diane in such a limited amount of time. He wrote about one of Masha and Anya’s “mamas” whom Diane met – he wrote about how this mama said she would miss “Diane’s smiles & her kindness.” Please remember, Diane may have met this woman twice! He wrote about Layna who had a special place in Diane’s heart and obviously Layna had a special place for Diane (Layna, Masha and Anya were friends in Kaz). I think that Diane and Layna only met once. He also wrote about Sabina. Sabina is now a teenager who has a warm, welcoming smile and a loving personality – just like Diane! We met and spent time with Sabina during our two trips to Kaz and we have kept in contact with her through Dereje. It was only a couple of weeks ago that Dereje told Sabina about Diane’s death, and I would like to share his email concerning those moments.

Greetings

Today choice a good timing as taking Roma and Sabina for they need warm winter shoe ,jeans and cloths.on the way back after buying them having a Lunch told sabina that Daine passed away and I hold her as she burst in to tears so profusely crying ( told in advance to Roma about the news I was going to break .)afterward took over 20 minute walk . after a silent walk she started to ask how is Masha and anya and thier papa doing? . asked if she will talk to them some time ? . she said she will miss all that calls and the kindness sent on her way from the Schmitt family and said Daine is her (amerikanka mama) that brought tears to me. indeed we all miss Daine and Sabina said she will write a big letter to Masha and anya with Her picture indeed today was one of the hardest day in my life as conveying this message as very careful as i could be knowing it could made such a great hole and damage to Her and your continues prayer greatly appreciated
in christ love

Dereje

As I read his note over and over again I am so taken by Sabina and by Dereje himself – the great love they have for Diane and really how well placed that love is. She is a remarkable woman who is missed by so many of us so very deeply – even those half way around the world who knew her for short bursts of time.

The following is a link to the Guest Book that is being hosted by Newsday. http://www.legacy.com/Newsday/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=119709141 In the past I have asked you to read through and add a reflection if you are so inclined. Please do. It means so much to me now and will mean so much to Anya and Masha as they grow older. I know they will soak up the “stories” of their mom. If you have a favorite photo, please add that also.

I would like you to know how we are recognizing Diane’s birthday this year. Some of you know some or all of this, but I want to share this with all on the distribution lists. Typical of Diane, the recognition of her birthday has to be more than one day. She used to call it her birthday month and in true Diane fashion, somehow it would span 3 months!
Saturday, knowing the girls were going to be very busy on Sunday, we went to Diane’s cemetery and went to the grave-sides of Diane and her aunt and uncle whose site is close by & whom we visited so very often. It was a very quiet time together and the girls and myself pushed the snow off of her grave with our feet. Diane hated the cold and the snow. I remembered with the girls how we left in the coffin one of her prayer shawls, not just as a prayer tool, but also to help keep her warm.
After a visit with Diane’s cousin Ann and an afternoon nap, Saturday evening rolled along. Mike and Liz (Diane’s brother & sister-in-law/friend) gave us a dinner at TGIFs to be used over Diane’s birthday weekend. Friends of mine (Bill and Ellen Moran) who have been very good to the girls joined us and we really had a wonderful evening. Though a toast was made in recognition of Diane’s birthday, it was not all that much reminiscing and telling Diane stories as it was just the five of us having a good evening together.
Now for Sunday, day two of recognition. At first we connected Masha and Anya getting their ears pierced with Valentine’s day. It was planned to have their Godmothers’ take them as a Valentine’s gift, but somehow it became part of Diane’s birthday trilogy. Masha went with her Aunt / Godmother (my sister Mary) late Sunday morning. Though she was nervous (Masha, not her aunt Mary) she got through it and loves everything about it. After ear piercing, Mary then spent hours with them teaching them how to cook meatloaf, baked ziti and chicken soup. We did have lunch together, but I took a good deal of the afternoon to be by myself. Naturally I went to Pinelawn cemetery, but then found myself giving Diane a very special (in her mind and heart, definitely not mine) birthday gift, I went to Mishna’s cemetery. Mishna was her not-so-very-friendly dog that died 15 years or so ago. I often say about Mishna, the only good thing I can say about Mishna is that her breathing difficulty got Diane to buy an air conditioner for the bedroom. Yes, I really did go Mishna’s grave-side, now if that’s not love...!!!!
And that brings us to today. For part two of the ear piercing, Anya’s Aunt / Godmother Catherine will be bringing her to this rite of passage. Masha seems to be having a hard time with Diane’s birthday. She told me that on Friday night she cried in bed (at her cousins’ house) while thinking of “my mom” and her birthday. Than when leaving the cemetery on Saturday she asked if she could come back on Monday. That is NOT the Masha I know. Anya yes, but not Masha. Of course I will bring her there before closing at 5:00 this evening. When we get back together again, Shawn and Catherine will be coming over and Catherine will be cooking something or other carbonara. Spoke to the girls last night and they want to do a birthday cake, it is not my cup of tea, but…It probably will end up being a difficult night, but I know that Diane is pleased that we are recognizing her birthday and won’t be speaking a word about her age.

And by the way, a few people have written to me to let me know that they are now praying to Diane, adding intentions to her “ever-growing prayer list”. They are doing this because in our faith we know she belongs to the Communion of Saints and has a special voice into God’s ears. Don’t hesitate in asking Diane to pray to God for your intentions.

As you well know, I could go on and on, but lunch hour is now over so I need to get back to work.
Many thanks for your loving consideration of Masha, Anya and myself during this difficult time in our lives.

Love,
George

December 16. 2008 Family Update and Call to Prayer

To our family and friends,
For Anya, Masha and myself, it was a sort of an emotional roller coaster of a weekend, but as I thought about it in the middle of the night (woke up at 1:30 and last time I saw the clock before falling back to sleep was 3:30), kind of a snapshot of this last month and a half. In many ways we are trudging through, in other ways we are flying through.
Yesterday we continued Diane’s loving tradition of visiting and putting blankets on her family graves; for reasons of comfort, the girls and myself changed the tradition a little by putting on wreaths. We did go to the 7 grave sites in 3 different cemeteries (including Mishna, her dog), but we could not do what Diane did. In the wintry cold & windy cemeteries she put together blankets by tying large boughs together, and then decorating these created blankets with such loving care. Though we did not do the boughs being made into blankets, the girls and I did do the decorating of the wreaths, so we kept much of the tradition. We did buy a pre-built but undecorated blanket for Diane which we decorated. The cemetery blankets were just one more manifestation of Diane’s loving ways. Though none of us wanted to spend a few hours in the wintry cemeteries, the decorating of the blankets (wreaths) was something all 3 of us wanted to do. Can’t say we enjoyed it, but I felt good doing what Diane would do out of love. And of course it was emotionally difficult for the 3 of us to do to her and her grave what she so lovingly did to her deceased family members each year.
Then in the evening we decorated our tree. Diane would not let an ornament be placed on the tree without telling the story of where it came from, from whom it came from and when it became part of the tree. You could hear in her voice the appreciation she had for all of the ornaments, especially the ones given to her by her family and friends. And the ones she had purchased or made herself – always something interesting to say about why she has it. The wonderful memories these ornaments invoked in her she was able to share with us. There is no way I could do that, but the ornament stories I remembered, the kids heard about again this Christmas and they enjoyed it. Anya and Masha did much more decorating than I did. They worked through my preparing for dinner, a call with a friend and the beginnings of a visit with Catherine. They enjoyed putting the ornaments on the tree and remarking about the ones that they realllllly liked, which seemed like most of them. Even having experienced the girls’ joy and excitement of last evening, I was surprised this morning that Masha said she had a good time yesterday. This was unsolicited from me, really out of the blue and so I know she wasn’t just saying this to please me.
That is what I mean by trudging and flying. In the late morning, early afternoon she was silently crying and sullen going cemetery to cemetery and then in the evening truly enjoying the decorating of our Christmas tree. I have to think that the Christmas / New Year season will continue the roller coaster ride for Diane’s brothers and sisters, the girls and myself. I did say to their aunt Catherine last night, I just think Masha and Anya are doing remarkably well, and she agreed. Thank you for your many thoughts and prayers as we continue to move forward with our lives. Let us pray for one another during this holy season.
When you get the chance please browse through her place in the Newsday Guest Book and if you are so inclined, please enter in your own memories, your thoughts. I find them tremendously rewarding to read and in the future I am sure the girls will also find it rewarding as they read about the place their mom had in so many lives.
http://www.legacy.com/Newsday/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=119709141
Love, George

Thanks

To all,

With Thanksgiving approaching I have spent some time on Thanksgiving reflection. For the first time that I can remember in my life I am having difficulty giving out a blanket Thank You God! Certainly not all the blessings in my life have been removed, but the loss of Diane and the blessing she has been to me has left a big void in having a thankful Thanksgiving. I know I was blessed overwhelmingly, beautifully, powerfully for so many years with Diane, and now there truly is that void. Because all that you have meant to Diane and myself, especially during the last year plus of her life, I felt I wanted to tell you this. But there is so need to dwell on this within this email.

But really a no brainer during this Thanksgiving season, is a huge blanket of thanks for all you have meant to us during this last year and a half. Your loving support, encouragement and prayers brought us through to where the fight against CA ended on November 1. Also all the practical assistance that you have given to us – everything from being ride companions, to shot clots, to child minders, to cooks, to giving special things to the kids, to….so much & more to thank you for.

Since November 1 I have heard from so many of you about what Diane’s presence in your life has meant to you. This happened during the wake and the luncheon after the funeral. It happened in cards and letters. So many emails and phone calls coming from so many of you. It is spoken about in the Guest Book of Newday’s Death Notice (http://www.legacy.com/Newsday/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=119709141) Please read through it and add to it if you are so inclined, I love reading them and through the years I expect that it will be good to read them over and over again with the girls. A great way to remember what a tremendous gift my wife, their mother was to us and to so many others.

So many wonderful things she has meant to so many of us. And so often the comments include phrases such as feeling blessed, of being thankful just for being a part of her life. And that is what I feel toward all you wonderful people during this Thanksgiving season – blessed and thankful that you chose to be in our lives, to take this journey with us. May you and your loved ones have a wonderful Thanksgiving day.

Love, George

To all, Below is a Eulogy that Diane’s sister Catherine wrote for the day of her funeral. It was distributed at Church, and now we would like to share it with the wider community of those who have been so lovingly touched by Diane.

This link should bring you to Diane’s Death Notice in the Long Island Newsday. Within this web page there is a link to the Guest Book. Please read the entries. I encourage you to sign the Guest Book, it has been a positive experience to read through them.
Thanks, George
http://www.legacy.com/Newsday/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=119709141

George and Diane’s family would like to thank all of you for gathering for this celebration of her life today. We would also like to thank everyone for all of their love and support during this difficult year and a half. This time has been painful and scary and loving and hopeful and prayerful. Diane’s struggle has taught so many of us how to love and to nurture and to put aside our differences and to focus on what is important.

Diane has taught us that we have all been given a gift. Some can do things that others cannot. There were people who could care for her physical needs and others who could give love and hope and nutrition. Others spent hours in prayer, whether it be silent or verbal. Some held her hand. Some sent comforting meals. We have become a community of love where everyone had a part to play. Diane knew this. Her heart was so full of love for everyone she knew and even those she didn’t know.

I would like to take this opportunity to ask everyone here to extend themselves to someone in need. It could be today or next week or next year. To take yourself out of your comfort zone and do something kind for someone else who needs it. It could be a hot meal or a ride somewhere or a compliment or a prayer or a smile to a stranger. Remember that we are all broken in some way, whether it be illness or sadness or poverty or emptiness. We are all carrying something in our hearts and in our lives and we are all in need of some comfort. Let us all make an effort to commit to doing even the smallest of things for one another. Diane’s illness taught me to enjoy even the little things like being able to enjoy air and mobility and family even in times when our loved ones “drive us crazy” I am quite sure that we all at times may be the person who may sometimes “get on someone’s nerves”. I figure we can give a pass on them as I would like a pass on the days that maybe I may not be so nice to be around.

I also trust you will keep Diane in your heart. And call on her in times of need and in times of Thanksgiving, She has been given both need and Thanksgiving in her life.

She loved each and every one of you. May she rest in peace. We are all blessed with the privilege of knowing, and loving her.

Unexpected Update and thanks for the last 1.5 years of prayer

This message was emailed on November 3, 2008

To our friends and families,
This is the email that I did not expect to write for a very long time, always hoped it would not be anytime in the imminent future. Diane died Saturday night just before 11:00 PM. As Randy (our nurse) said on Friday morning, her will, her heart, her head was still fighting, but her body would no longer allow her to do the things that could help make her better. Let me thank you for the so many months of faithful prayer, loving encouragement and acts of kindness shown to Diane, myself, Masha and Anya. All of that and our faith and hope in God and one another is what has kept us going for so long. As Diane would say, always needed, always appreciated. Hopefully as I get my act together in the weeks to come I will be able to better express myself, but for now please accept my heartfilled and sincere thanks.
Love, George

Leg Weakness

Hi All,
Just a quick update and call to prayer today. Diane has been doing well with the pain management, but she feels that her legs are getting weaker. Saturday she spent the whole day in bed having sleepy Saturday (while the kids were running through a corn maze with my sisters Mary and Betty). Before I address the Sauerbraten, I remember Dr. Franckfort encouraging Diane to walk around each day after her surgery because the body loses X% of muscle tone (wish I could remember the amount) everyday you don't use them. So I am attributing the leg weakness to Saturday's lazy day because yesterday she did pretty well, certainly better than Sunday. Mary cooked Saurebraten for our Saturday night dinner and it was delicious. Though Diane did not join us at the table she did enjoy the noodles, gravy and the Sauerbrate (we finished the red cabbage before she got a chance at it). Her appetite has waned in the last couple of days and so she needs to be encouraged to eat and because of her determination to get better, to get stronger, she does eat. Please keep praying for the poundage, please keep praying for her total healing. Love, George

Rescheduled Appointment

Today is Friday, the day we had scheduled an appointment with Dr. O'Reilly at MSK. My brother asked last night whether we were still going in and I realized my last update and call to prayer left that up in the air. We decided to cancel that appointment to give Diane an opportunity to put on some more poundage. Please pray for that! She has been eating very well, but it is tough putting on those pounds. The next appointment is scheduled for Fri November 14. Please pray for that also! Diane has found that walking with a walker (with front wheels) has given her extra stability while standing and walking, and so now she is taking to exercising her legs, strengthening her body by walking with the walker. She looks forward to the day she can exercise walk without the aid of the walker, but for now it is a great tool to be used for her to get stronger. A little about the weekend. My sister Mary is going to cook us a Sauebraten Dinner. She is coming out early Saturday (sure it has been marinating in vinegar through a good deal of this week) to put it in a crock pot. Than she and her husband John will take the girls out for the day. If the weather cooperates doing the corn maze, haunted house scene, if not, we'll see what we can come up with. Sunday the girls may go to the street fair in Bellmore (Diane's cousin Ann is working it) and I may get out to purchase a laptop - that is important because the stairs to the basement (where the computer is) are just too tough on her. With the laptop she will be able to correspond with emails, keep up with her adoption chat groups, once again play hearts on-line and surf the net. So we are looking forward to all that is happening this weekend and wish you a great weekend. And of course I can never leave off without asking for your prayers for Diane's complete healing. The prayers are so essential for her healing, so appreciated. Keep them up, love, George